About 40 hours until Halloween.

Mixed bag of Skittles and M&Ms or
Life is Like a Box of Chocolates, you never know what you will get.
So who do you want to be?  What does dressing up as something or someone else really say about where you are in the world or where do you want to be?

Let's look at my family members.

The oldest "ELSA" well yes, she is the first born. Desires to be queen, has very special powers that we still can not fully understand or harness.  Our family refers to it as everyone's brain works differently.  She is strong and powerful, knows she is special, but sometimes she can freeze you out without a moment's hesitation.  Our girl is young at heart and still innocent enough to want to be Elsa and not a zombie like her peers (or worse in mom's eyes the dead Disney princesses).

The youngest "NERD GIRL" Yup, that sums her up nicely.  She embraces it, celebrates her passion for science and takes this holiday as yet another opportunity to remind the world what fuels her fire.  She will proudly carry a binder filled with science papers and a laminated copy of the Periodic Table of Elements.  Her purple T-shirt is as Punny as she is - Ah! the Element of surprise!  She cracks up each and every time she says it.  That is how she rolls.  There is no princess there, no dress, no pink.  And yet, that alone does not define her, she loves the school chorus and is eager for her solo in the church Christmas play.  Plays minecraft daily, and has her crew of peeps over to collaborate on new worlds and taps their resources and knowledge for things she did not know how to do.

I am going to be Vanelleope von Schweetz from the Wreck It Ralph movie.  Mmmm, why?  Well, it did seem easy to assemble.  But seriously, why?  As I have been assembling and painting and plotting and scheming this costume, this keeps rolling around in my brain. What is her story and how is it like my story.  Here comes the layer.  Vanellope lives in a video game called Sugar Rush as a race car driver who is a glitch.    She basically gets kicked out of racing because of her difference and in her heart she knows that she can do it, just needs the chance to do it.   So where is the parallel?

<Back Story> I was born about 30 hours after Halloween and given up for adoption.  Halloween has always been another time of the year to wonder about things.  Prior to meeting my bio-mom, I would spend a lot of emotional energy in an around this holiday wondering if  someone else out there in the world was sitting around thinking about similar things on this holiday.  Later found out she went into labor on Halloween evening late.   So am I the glitch?  There is another part to this story that I am not privy to have knowledge of.   Consider it a tri-pod, and I have only 2 parts of the story, but like in the movie there are other supporting characters.  Ralph, Fix it Felix Jr., even Qbert makes an appearance. Can't quite figure out how it all ties in, but the crux of it is, I have to trust.  Trust that what I am supposed to know, I will, in due time.  That some things are none of my business.  That someday all things will be made new, relationships healed and the shame of old secrets won't sting to reveal. Perhaps, one day I will get to learn some 1st hand information on bio-dad or maybe I won't.  The urgency will ebb and flow over the years as it does, there are days in which the unknowns loudly fill the silences, and then there will be months and months that I don't give it a second thought.

Youngest and I have an evening tradition called "F.G.H."  Each evening we take turns with one thing we Forgive, then we each say something we are Grateful for and finally we share a Hope.

Let me close with my own FGH on this, "F - forgive"  I forgive those who don't see value in the individual who helped make me. "G-Grateful"  I am so grateful for this life, this chance to make a difference and to be a parent, partner and creative being.  "H-Hope" I hope that in my years on this earth that I can keep perspective on where I have been and where I am going.   One of my favorite sayings of all time is this "Our lives are God's gift to us, how we choose to live that life, is our gift back to God!"

Carpe Diem!  

*Footnote: Hubby does not dress up for Halloween in 30 years or more.
There is more there, but he can write his own story!